Introduction

Have you ever met a chronic complainer before? I mean, you just can’t get anything done because it’s just complaint after complaint? Day in and day out. It’s too cold outside, it’s too hot, it hurts to stand up, it hurts to sit down. The government does too much, the government doesn’t do enough. My job is so hard, I don’t get paid enough. Mortgage rates keep climbing. I can’t believe stores are open on Sundays and they have ball games on Sundays. I don’t see my kids enough, I hate that my kids keep me up and I don’t have time to do anything. I wish people would spend more time building community instead of on their phones, I hate this traffic and having so many people out and about. These eggs cost too much money. Well go ahead and get one fertilized mother goose and see how much it costs then! My porridge is too hot, my porridge is too cold, well ok goldy locks let’s get it together and figure this one out! we need to get back to the good old days. Those are just the complaints I could free hand in under 2 minutes. 

What do we do about complaining in church though? I mean, what would other churches do, because that would never happen here at Friends Church. So I wrote a portion of today’s sermon for a hypothetical church. This is a sermon for West Poorland Exvangelical Enemies Church in Mauvaismont County, in the middle of the Indian ocean. Which by the way, is the exact opposite of East Richland Evangelical Friends Church in Belmont County, Ohio because complaining would NEVER happen here, right? The truth is my friends, complaining happens all the time and there is no such thing as a perfect church this side of heaven. It’s been said if you find a perfect church, don’t join it, you’ll ruin it! We are all figuring this life out and how we Love our God more, and how we love people more. Luckily the bible talks about how the first complaint in church went and how it was dealt with. 

V1

We pick up in verse one where it says now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. Acts 6:1 So this frames our whole text today as to why the Apostles find it necessary to solve this. What’s the problem? Why is there complaining? Well, the disciples are increasing in number. The church is growing and things are changing. They face the same problems every church faces: They had a way of doing church and found great success in it when there was just Jesus and 12 people. Then they had to change when Jesus started sharing the gospel and their church 10x’d and now there are 120 people. It was getting cozy in the upper room. Then 3,000 get saved when they almost 30x in size! Then they almost double again after that massive explosion of gospel filled Holy Spirit empowered preaching, teaching, and sharing. And now, more people are coming in, it’s affecting all of their resources- their time, talents, and treasures. All of it. Let me teach you how to complain this morning and how to field complaints. Here are 4 categories of complaints a friend put together for 9Marks:

1. Preference – Preferences are subjective commitments that have no moral consequence. The truth is, we all have things we’re passionate about, things that matter deeply to us. Complaints often surface in the church when we start believing that my things should matter more than your things. The tricky part is, it’s not always clear who’s right or wrong in these situations because sometimes, neither side is clearly wrong. And most times, neither side is clearly right because, interestingly enough, Paul tells us to look to the interests of others. Different doesn’t mean bad, it means what it means, different. We are not all gifted in the same way and thank God! We have different gifts so we can accomplish more for the kingdom of God, together.
2. Opinion – Reasoned conclusions that shape our Conscience. This shapes your moral code of conduct. In the church, believers experience the highest potential for conflict around opinions. Most often, discord arises when one side looks down on those who abstain, while the other side judges those who partake (Romans 14:3). Let me clarify: opinions aren’t merely preferences. They’re deeply held moral convictions formed by a biblically-informed conscience, and violating these convictions is sin (Romans 14:14). Believers often differ in their opinions, particularly regarding Christian liberty. There’s clearly right and wrong here, but it’s frequently relative to each person’s conscience (Romans 14:23).
3. Conviction – The objective truths that form our doctrine. They’re the non-negotiable foundations of our faith (Jude 3)—God’s truth that’s always worth fighting for (1 Timothy 6:12). Convictions represent the core beliefs that unify us as Christians. If someone abandons these convictions, they step away from the faith itself (1 Timothy 4:1-3), becoming an immediate threat to the spiritual health of the entire body. The Bible repeatedly addresses this issue, placing it in an entirely separate category from opinions or preferences. When false doctrine threatens the unity of the church, our response must be swift and decisive. Here, there’s a clear and absolute right and wrong. We have to be very careful that we do not assume our preferences and opinions as conviction.
4. Attitude– A voluntary posture of the heart toward others. Despite having different preferences and opinions, every believer must maintain a godly mind (Philippians 4:2). Even though we naturally have different interests, every believer must maintain a godly mindset which is seen in our attitude (Philippians 4:2). In Philippi, Paul calls out two women by name because they didn’t have this same mind, or attitude. Notice something crucial: Paul doesn’t say, “Ladies, here’s who’s right.” Instead, he acknowledges that their differences are legitimate, maybe even necessary. But what he clearly doesn’t accept is the kind of quarreling that disrupts harmony in the church. On this point, there is an obvious right and wrong, and usually, both sides need to repent.

Some Christians think grumbling is just being discerning. It’s almost as if admitting things are good might mean you’re being tricked somehow. You know how it goes. asking a simple “how are you?” can sometimes open a floodgate of complaints you weren’t prepared for or didn’t ask for. Attitudes are tough to change, but here’s what’s most important: don’t let someone else’s bad attitude become your own. Maybe the best thing we can do is model the behavior we want to see in others. Listen carefully because here’s how we field complaints: ask thoughtful questions, and pray that God would reveal the harmful impact of complaining both to the complainer and to anyone tempted to join in. Keeping unity and peace has always required hard work that’s why Jesus calls us to be peacemakers. Difficult personalities are unavoidable, but how we respond determines if things get better or worse. Rather than escalating conflict or pretending it doesn’t exist, identify what kind of complaint it is and respond with biblical wisdom to help align each person with God’s standard. And remember, when it’s our turn to complain, let’s be open to that same correction ourselves.

I can only assume from my decade of pastoral ministry that some of the questions that are being asked fall into one of the 4 categories. Here are the top complaints in most churches: Why are we spending money in these areas, why are we changing the way we do certain things, the music: it’s too loud or it’s too quiet depending on what generation you’re from, where we sit: in a chair in a different building or in “my pew”, what we wear: too formal or too casual, and who we allow in this joint: we will tolerate a certain amount of sin in here but make sure it’s hidden, we don’t want the open sinners like the smokers, the gays, and you know the people who need Jesus but really LOOK like they need Jesus like the poor and mentally ill. Because if it ain’t broke, say it with me, IF IT AINT BROKE- don’t fix it. Right? Well what if it is SO broken that it’s become our new normal? See if it’s not one of the areas of preference, or attitude, then it’s probably an opinion. And that’s ok, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I’d just encourage and challenge you to allow The Holy Spirit in to formulate your opinion. Because here is where we become dangerous. When we assume that our preferences, our opinions, and our attitudes are convictions. That God is on my side in all of these things and if God’s on my side then He is not on your side. I am right, you are wrong, and we aren’t making peace because it’s my way or the highway. Don’t allow anything and everything to fall into this category of conviction. You have to realize, conviction is not “fluid” or “on a spectrum.” The Holy Spirit is in charge of conviction. This is the job description of the Holy Spirit as defined by Jesus:

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no longer; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.” John 16:7-15

So God is going to do this work of conviction. This is why it is so crucial when we read Acts 6 to see how they responded. What category does the first complaint of the church fall into? Let’s work it out. You have hellenists. These are the Jews that are typically not originally from Jerusalem and so they don’t speak Hebrew. Language very much so builds into our culture. And then you have the Hebrew Jews who are those native to Jerusalem and speak Hebrew. This is foundational for the conversation and complaint because most speak some Greek since it’s the common language, but not all spoke Hebrew. So there seems to be a bit of an ethnic battle stewing. I need you to take off any other hat you may wear today and put on your Holy Spirit filled, Jesus mindset, bible provoked and produced, Christian hat. The reason for this, is, in 2025, our world is super-charged by some of these terms, but you cannot allow yourself to be convinced of anything if it is not the word of God. Are you with me? For our notes today, one theologian put it this way: Ethnicity = is about a common culture, history and Heritage. Race = bases hierarchy in a location upon physical characteristics. These are 2 portions of Christians with a common culture, history, and heritage that aren’t speaking the same language and so their culture is off. The minority culture is an immigrant culture of Greek speaking Jews that are overlooked. And this is what happens in any community, we make things happen from the majority and dictate to the minority. It leads their widows to be neglected. Let’s take it down to something we can consider for ourselves today in church. I’ll use myself as an example: I would consider myself highly extroverted. So would the Myers Briggs personality test, and every person I’ve ever met. I’m a 90% tigger, 10% pooh bear sort of individual. Now when we map out how church feels and I’m involved in the conversation, I want it to be highly engaging so people shake hands, and they’re talking, and they’re hugging, and do all of the things that I like to do because I’m an extrovert. If you are an introvert, for this analogy, we will consider you the minority in church. It is easy to overlook these needs and an introvert’s needs could potentially become invisible in church because no one in leadership is thinking on that level. Back to Acts 6, the Apostles are Hebrew Jews. The needs of the Hellenist Jews widows are invisible to them. They didn’t mean to do this, they’re resources are taxed and they are just trying to survive serving thousands of people. For this reason, people will read Acts 6 and think the whole point is to carry the load. The point of Acts 6 isn’t to divide labor and build a system. That’s the byproduct of what they are trying to do. Acts 6 is about the church eager to maintain the unity in the Spirit in the bond of peace as they solve an ethnic problem they are facing. This means that this first complaint is a really good one. Satan loves to use an unintentional wrong to begin a conflict. The Hebrews were right in their hearts, and the Hellenists were right in their facts. These were perfect conditions for a church-splitting conflict. It’s preference, we think that our widows should get fed. It’s opinion, we believe the bible says we should take care widows and it doesn’t say just the ones who speak Hebrew. It’s attitude, and this is a big one because they do not share the same mind in Christ Jesus right here, it’s what forces the complaint. There is neglect. And it is also conviction. They knew the command of God in the Old Testament- Exodus 22:22-24:

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

Later on, Jesus’ half brother James would write to the church in Jerusalem and say this, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27

So this is a defcon 4 level complaint! Get the Apostles on the phone, put them in the situation room, and resolve this church crisis, right?! Well that’s exactly what happens.

V2-4: The Apostles’ Response:

• “It’s not right for us to give up preaching the word to serve tables.”
• “Pick from among yourselves seven men to appoint—men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and wisdom.”
• “We’ll devote ourselves fully to prayer and the ministry of the word.”

I’ll be honest, when I first read their response, here’s what I heard:

“We aren’t dealing with your problems. Let’s delegate out the real work so we can stay comfortably in prayer and teach everyone else what they’re doing wrong.”

I think many of us read it similarly on the first pass. Why? Because culturally, we struggle with leaders who set boundaries around their resources- Their time, talents, and treasures. We instinctively resist the idea that someone’s boundaries might inconvenience or disadvantage us. But here’s what we need to understand: The church doesn’t exist just to serve you. We all exist within the church to serve one another. When we sense that someone else might have an advantage, or that we might face a disadvantage, we tend to assume the worst. We start reading situations through suspicious, negative eyes. But let’s pause and really see what’s happening here. This isn’t about shirking responsibility or pushing off tasks; it’s about clarity, focus, and stewardship. It’s about recognizing that not every task is meant for every person. It’s about ensuring the church thrives by empowering the right people for the right roles. 

This brings us directly to the heart of delegation. Delegation isn’t Obligation- Delegation is Invitation. What you need to see clearly is that delegation is an invitation, not an obligation. When Jesus delegated His work to the apostles—and by extension, to all of us, His church—He wasn’t saying, “Here’s the heavy burden of ministry. I’ll wait up here in heaven until you all figure it out!” Instead, He was inviting us into something incredible: the privilege of giving ourselves fully to the greatest mission imaginable- the Kingdom of God. In the same way, when the apostles delegated responsibility to these seven in Acts, it wasn’t merely handing off tasks; it was extending an invitation. One thing I’ve learned about delegation is this: when you find the right person, they recognize delegation as a privilege to embrace, not a burden they’re obligated to carry.

V5-6 

In verses 5 and 6, we encounter something incredible: the seven men selected don’t have Hebrew names- they all have Greek names. Why does this matter? It’s as if God is showing us something significant: unlike Israel, who once chose their king based on outward strength and appearance, the early church was committed to finding the right people. These were leaders uniquely suited to address the specific need, people who could bridge cultural divides and handle the practical ministry with sensitivity, wisdom, and skill. Once these men were identified, the church affirmed them publicly through prayer and the laying on of hands. This act wasn’t just a formality- it was the people of God bearing witness and giving approval to what the Holy Spirit was already doing among them. Today, we share in that same honor and responsibility. When we lay hands on our deacons and commission them for ministry, we’re actively recognizing and affirming the Holy Spirit’s work in equipping and empowering His people for service. Right now, as Friends Church, we face two unique needs, two areas where we deeply need gifted deacons to step in and serve. First, we’re looking for leadership and oversight for our facilities. God has entrusted us with an incredible campus, and along with it, an extensive roster of buildings and grounds. Stewarding this well isn’t just practical- it’s spiritual. It’s about caring for what God has given us as a platform for ministry. Second, we’re sensing a clear call toward prayer. We believe it’s time to birth a prayer team and prayer ministry that truly reflects God’s heart and makes a tangible impact in our community. History shows us that whenever the church experiences genuine growth or revival, you can always trace it back to intentional prayer. Twenty years from now, my prayer is that we’ll look back together and say with awe, “Look at what God did when we committed ourselves wholeheartedly to prayer.” Today, we believe God has clearly identified the right people to lead us in these two important ministries. At this time, I’d like to invite Mike Chedester, Joan Lepic, and Heidi Berk to join me on stage, along with our Elders, as we lay hands on them and commission them into this vital work.

Conclusion: 

Verse 7 gives us a beautiful and powerful picture of God’s blessing on a church that handles conflict biblically and commissions people wisely. Because the apostles and believers didn’t allow their differences and preferences to fracture their unity- but instead humbly addressed complaints and empowered the right people for ministry. The Word of God flourished. Disciples multiplied. Even priests, once openly opposed to Jesus, became obedient to the faith. Imagine that here at Friends Church: God’s Word taking deeper root, more lives transformed, more hearts surrendered, and even the hardest hearts among us turning toward Christ. So here’s our invitation today: Let’s commit ourselves afresh to biblical unity, to humility in how we handle complaints, and to eager participation in the mission God invites us into. Let’s embrace delegation not as obligation but as a divine invitation to be part of something eternally significant. And let’s long for the day, years from now, when we’ll look around and say together with awe, “Look at what God did here- look at how He blessed Friends Church because we chose unity, humility, and prayer. Look how He increased His Word, multiplied His disciples, and brought even the most unlikely people to faith in Jesus Christ.” God, may it be so among us today.